Scattered
by Lilly for Algernon
Summary: AU: The fabulous four all react in different ways when they discover that Logan is dating Hannah Griffith, but it is Veronica who finds herself coming to a conclusion which may change their lives, and their friendship, forever. LoVe.
1. Chapter 1

_Scattered (Part One: The minute people fall in love, they become liars.)_

**AN: This one has been in the background for a while, written between breaks in longer fics. Inspired by a sudden what-if sentiment while watching season two. How would the fab four react to Logan's relationship with Hannah if they still existed. **

**This story is set in an AU timeline, in which Lilly does not die. Some of the characters may seem a little OOC, but keep in mind that many of the events of VM did not occur and thus certain characters did not adapt accordingly. Ah well, with that disclaimer in mind, enjoy the story… I know I enjoyed writing it ;)**

One o'clock found Logan Echolls walking down the hall of Neptune High, hand in hand with his new sophomore girlfriend for the first time, under the scrutinizing gazes of their peers. Hannah Griffith's face was flushed a light pink, a pink that deeply complimented her peach cardigan, Logan was seemingly oblivious to the stares and sniggers of the Neptune teen public. If he walked the walk of controversy once he'd walked it a million times.

1:15 found Veronica Mars plopping down next to her best friend, onto a neon yellow lunch table that was decorated with the boxes and plates of the varying fast food found in the Neptune area. Running a hand distractedly through recently cropped blonde hair, Veronica, decked out in a short skirt and quippy t-shirt, barely registered the banquet laid out before her. Beside her Lilly Kane, princess of the remarkable Kane empire, queen of Neptune, ex-girlfriend to Logan and present best friend of Veronica Mars was digging into a plate of kung-pow chicken so enthusiastically she didn't notice her friends perplexed state.

Not for at least fifteen seconds anyway. And that, for the Lilly Kane who noticed everything, was a record.

Lilly glanced over at Veronica, who was staring at her fingernails absently, and coughed. Veronica looked up with a start.

"Hungry?"

Veronica blinked and then obligingly reached for a slice of pizza. She munched for a few minutes in obvious deliberation, the turning of the cogs in her head visible to anyone who bothered to look.

"So, did you see Logan's Sweet Valley High moment?" She asked Lilly finally. If anyone had known about their friend and the blonde, lower class man princess before the inscrutable Veronica Mars, it would be the terrifying, fabulous, beautiful, former love of Logan's life. "Did you know?"

"Yes and no." Lilly said carelessly. "The boy puts on a good show, you can say that for him, but Veronica can you even believe his choice of fuck toys?"

Veronica's eyebrows shot up her forehead.

"I think Logan might object to you referring to his new girlfriend as a 'fuck toy'."

Lilly cocked her head and thought about that.

"Girlfriend?"

"An Echolls never kisses on the lips or hold hands in public." Veronica reminded dryly. "Not unless the object of his affection demands a certain level of, dare I say, Lilly Kane-esq respect."

Lilly waved her hands dismissively.

"Fine, ok, not a fuck toy. That pep squad bimbo isn't giving it up anyway. Try project." Lilly laughed hysterically at her own joke and Veronica released she had unleased Lilly's malevolent side by comparing the two. "Oh, My. God, Veronica Mars, this is too funny. Logan's being all reformed."

Veronica shrugged and refocused on her pizza. She knew that Lilly was biologically obligated to be a bitch to, well anyone, but especially any girl Logan deemed worthy to favour attention upon. When Lilly started making plans that involved Tabasco sauce and frat boys, then Veronica would be concerned.

Despite the fact that Logan and Lilly had broken up 'for good' over a year ago, any attempt to move on in anyway from the fabulous Lilly Kane was a travesty that welcomed all levels of public and private mortification. In Lilly's mind anyhow, and Veronica had news for Hannah Griffith, this _was_ Lilly's show… They were just supporting characters.

"I wonder why he didn't tell us?" Veronica asked rhetorically, knowing full well any answer that came from Lilly would probably not be worth considering. Lilly shrugged.

It was a good question actually, because Veronica had been privy to every single one of Lilly and Logan's exploits, both together and apart and in avid, technicolour detail. She of all people, deserved a little heads up on the Neptune tid-bit of the year.

From across the quad Duncan Kane, Lilly's brother and Veronica's ex-boyfriend wandered towards the centre table on which Lilly and Veronica sat, his arm linked loosely with the soft white arm of Meg Manning; Meg Manning who, through general agreement that she was the only good person left in Neptune, had gained the slightly exasperating reputation of Neptune's resident fairy princess.

Meg grinned at Veronica good naturedly as she sat down, and Veronica returned it sincerely. Despite the fact that once upon a time Veronica had been the longhaired, innocent Disney princess attached to Duncan's arm, Meg had been a true and best friend for years. It had been a serious adjustment, when Meg started sitting at the table as Duncan's girlfriend and not 09'er good fairy, but Duncan made a better comrade then he had ever made a soul mate and Veronica had long stopped holding it against either of them. Not that Veronica hadn't loved Duncan once upon a time, before pesky things like paternity tests got in the way of their perfect lives.

Duncan looked at his sister and her friend with less amiability then his girlfriend had, glaring at the entire table with an expression of total annoyance that indicated to Veronica that he too had been left in the dark visa vi his best friend's recent romance.

"Did you guys see Logan?" He exploded irritably. Meg rolled her eyes and patted her boyfriends' hand. "Why… _Why_ would he not tell me he had a new girl friend?"

"I'm sorry." Meg said apologetically. "I thought I had calmed him down."

Lilly merely shrugged and popped one of Duncan's fries into her mouth. Veronica set her mouth into a firm line and promised herself she would not satisfy both Duncan and her inner traitor by obsessing over why Logan hadn't mentioned Hannah.

"Maybe it's just new and Logan was nervous about telling you guys." Meg suggested. Veronica, Lilly and Duncan all snorted in perfect sync. The very idea of Logan Echolls being nervous about anything was about as unlikely as Veronica spontaneously making out with Dick Casablanca.

"I thing you should stop ob-_cessing_" Lilly drawled, drawing out the last word.

In typical Lilly Kane fashion she flicked her long, blonde hair behind her back in a perfect way that caught the light and seemed to make it sparkle in the sun. From behind the mirage of Lilly's hair, the dual figures of Logan and his new girlfriend could be seen making their way across the schoolyard.

"Oh, no." Lilly groaned cheerfully. "You don't think we'll actually have to talk to her do you?"

--

"Well, I don't get it." Lilly announced to the room, her voice loud and commanding despite the fact Meg and Veronica, the only inhabitants, could have heard her if she whispered. "I mean, it's not like it's just me is it? That girl was such a spaz I could barely even handle her."

Meg slumped dejectedly into Lilly's pillows. The third blonde had been soothing Duncan's enraged ego over the illusive Hannah all day and she was now refusing to discuss the subject further. Veronica on the other hand had a distinct feeling that the subject would continue bugging her regardless of whether Lilly kept going on about it or not. She was unsure why the sight of Hannah made her want to heave so uncontrollably, beyond the fact the girl had clearly been raised and neutered by the thing which seemed to steal cheerleaders' brains, or why she had been unable to look Logan in the eye. She had a feeling the answers wouldn't comfort her anymore then the questions did. As Lilly would often say: sometimes denial was the only way to make it through the day.

"You're exaggerating. Hannah was… nice"

"I am not exaggerating, Veronica. What could he possibly be doing with that child?"

Honestly Veronica could make a few accurate guesses, but she supposed that would be unwise information to share with Lilly.

"She is… different from the normal girls that Logan dates."

Lilly rose an eyebrow archly.

"'Dates' is a relative term Veronica Mars."

Veronica did a mental checklist of the woman she knew Logan had been associated with, and privately agreed. It probably wouldn't be uncalled of to call the women Logan 'dated' sluts, but really in all fairness Logan was the biggest slut of the lot. Was Lilly right? Was Logan reforming himself in the image of a guy who dated innocent sophomores named Hannah Griffith?

Veronica stared in the mirror at her own reformed reflection. When Troy Vandegraff, Veronica's boyfriend of six months and first (and only) lover, turned out to be a lying, cheating drug dealer Veronica Mars stopped smiling all the time. The strong spark of intelligence that she had inherited from her father, responsible for both her dark sense of irony and 3.8 GPA but largely ignored, awakened with a no holds barred, no prisoners taken fervour. When Troy betrayed her Veronica's shell hardened, and when her mother left after telling her that there was a possibility Duncan and Lily were her siblings Veronica cut off her long blonde hair and traded her pastel cardigans and pretty ballet flats for band tees and combat boots. Lilly had thought it was fabulous, Veronica was pretty sure the other girls in her year were less sure. She had never asked what Duncan had thought. She had never particularly cared what Logan had thought.

Now she wondered.

"So!" Lilly's usual oblivious charm disrupted her thoughts. The taller girl threw one arm over her best friend's shoulder and looked deeply into the mirror. "Tell me Veronica Mars, what do you think of crashing John Enbom's 'Day Ending With Y Party' party?"

Veronica looked up at her.

"Lilly…" She said slowly and deliberately. "We're both invited."

Lilly smiled wickedly. "Let's pretend not to be and jump through a window or something."

Meg immediately shot up in alarm, hearing the end of their conversation.

"No felonies!"

Lilly pouted shortly, then, because Lilly Kane was never able to keep a straight face for more then a second, she grinned again and threw her arms up in the air.

"Then I'll settle with the three of us turning up looking like three unbelievably hot females ready to party like it's 1989."

Veronica considered it her duty to get Meg, who had never been able to say no to Lilly ever, out of this party, considering her knowledge of Meg's previous plans with Duncan. True to form Meg was looking particularly stricken at Lilly's presupposed plans. Veronica sighed; the down side to this knight in shining armour act was that her own chances of escaping John Enbom's dreaded kegger were now about zero to none.

"I think Meg has other plans Lilly." Veronica said.

"Oh." Lilly said with a grin. "Are they dirty?"

Lilly ignored the maroon the spread across Meg's face and focused on Veronica, who for her part was trying to avoid notice with the help of some careful lipstick application.

"You on the other hand Veronica Mars are a free woman, and you are the perfect Sabrina Duncan to my Kris Monroe."

Veronica crinkled her nose delicately.

"Really? You see me as Sabrina Duncan?"

"You can be the 'streetwise' one if you'd like." Lilly offered generously. "But I refuse to let you lower yourself to a replacement angel. You are better then that Veronica."

Veronica nodded slowly and moved back to Lilly's bed, her head sinking into the pillows next to Meg. Lilly danced out of the room happily, giggling to a private joke she now shared with herself.

"I'll bring drinks."

She called over her shoulder.

Veronica lay with Meg in silence for a few moments.

"Thanks." Meg sighed finally, breaking the silence. Veronica turned her face so they looked at each other.

"No problem."

They lay again in contemplative silence for a few more moments until Veronica asked-

"Why would Logan not tell any of us?"

"Oh." Meg said darkly. "We're talking about this again."

"It's ok." Veronica said quickly, she looked back up at the ceiling. "We don't have to talk about it. I'm just curious."

Meg sighed.

"I don't know why he didn't tell Duncan."

Veronica looked at her sharply, dimly aware of Lilly screeching the words of an Evanescence song somewhere else in the house.

"Why Duncan?" She attempted to sound curious as opposed to neurotic, but fell short as her voice hit a pitch that made Lilly's glass dolls rattle. "Why not 'I don't know why Logan didn't tell Veronica, his bestest girl friend, about his new girl crush?'"

Meg gave her a pitying look, a look that suggested she knew something Veronica didn't, and that Veronica was frighteningly simple for not seeing it. Lilly's giggles grew louder.

"Isn't it _obvious_?"

--

Veronica watched people. She always had.

She would have liked to think that she was watching Hannah Griffith now because the girl was particularly interesting, for Logan's sake and her sanity, but she was not. Veronica Mars would never have thought to notice Hannah if it wasn't for the six foot male wrapped around her.

Nether the less, at the moment Veronica found Hannah _fascinating_.

The petite blonde (and Logan had once sworn he would never touch a blonde again, Veronica tutted) chattered animatedly with the sprawling group of upper class men who had mysteriously befriended her. Among other perks of Logan's affection, Veronica didn't wonder, was an all access pass to the crème de crème of 09er society. The girl's cornflower blue eyes were wide as she beamed at the admiring coos of her new friends, unaware of the shark smiles that lay behind foundation, lip-gloss and Valium. This soft-bellied kitten was so unprepared for her new league of sharp-toothed lions. Veronica would feel sorry for her if, well…

Veronica promised herself that she would either deal with her ill-founded irritation concerning Hannah Griffith, or at least be nice to the kitty cat.

"You know no matter how much you stare, there's no way you can physically burn a hole through Hannah Griffith."

Veronica looked up ruefully into the gleeful brown eyes of Wallace Fennell, basketball star and bona fide 'brother from another mother'. Literally because Veronica Mars' father had just asked Wallace Fennell's mother to marry him.

"Let it never be said I'm not ambitious."

Wallace fell gracelessly into the seat next to her and Veronica helped herself to his pudding cup.

"Are we sure Hannah hasn't slipped something strong into Logan's juice box." Wallace remarked as he too studied the happy couple. "I mean, not there is anything wrong with Blondie, but out of everyone Logan could have chosen…"

"Hmm…" Veronica agreed absently, forgetting her earlier resolution. "She's like a hamster."

"Did you know?"

"Yeah, the supreme disbelief is just well disguised indifference." Veronica deadpanned.

Wallace grinned.

"I can't believe Logan didn't even tell Duncan."

"How do you- wait! Isn't anybody surprised he didn't tell _me_ about his new girl friend?"

Veronica gave her friend an expression of total bemusement.

"Nope." Wallace popped the 'p' and looked over her shoulder. Veronica turned to see Logan, parted from his girlfriend, walking their way with an infuriating smile.

"My, my Veronica Mars." The boy drawled, sitting down beside her and leaning his chin upon his knuckles. "You've been ignoring me. I'm hurt, I am."

"You know how I am." Veronica embellished her faux yawn. "Do em', dump em'."

Logan grinned foolishly at her.

"And you said you loved me." He said in a tone of mock disappointment. "What will daddy say?"

"Maybe you can introduce him to your new girlfriend." Veronica replied crisply, remembering suddenly why she had been avoiding Logan. "She looks like she'd cough up a diamond or too."

Logan mimed hysterics, his eyes cooling.

"Funny."

"I thought so."

Logan pursed his lips, and an awkward silence fell over the table. Wallace glanced at them both, clearing his throat he stood up.

"Well I've got practice so…"

"Bye Wallace." Veronica snapped. The dark boy shrugged, waving half heartedly as he walked off.

Logan leaned back and pulled his sleeves over his knuckles, his playful expression rearranged itself defensively. Veronica felt a pang of guilt, and then a coupled pang of self-directed confusion.

"So…" She said, trying again and forcing her sweet tone through her teeth. "Hannah is really, um, actually… nice."  
"Sound more surprised Veronica." Logan sneered elegantly. "Seriously."

Veronica ignored the challenge in his tone.

"Does this mean the days of the Caitlin Fords and Kendall Casablanca's of this world are over?"

"You know you almost sound disappointed?"

Veronica frowned, not just because Logan was being difficult but also because he was right. She did, for some reason beyond her reckoning, sound disappointed.

"What can I say? I'll miss the cosmetic tips."

"Are you going to tell me what's up your…"

"Are you going to tell me why you didn't tell us?" Veronica interrupted fiercely. "We're meant to be your friends Logan."

Silence hovered over them for a moment as Veronica pressed her lips together irritably. Logan's eyes softened slightly, but she refused to see the pity in them.

"You are." He said quietly.

"Really?" Veronica said. "Is that why I found out about your latest teen squeeze with the sophomore debate club."

"Hannah… She isn't like that…"

"All the more reason why you should have let us know before you decided to, oh so classily, broadcast your relationship with your bridal waltz down the Neptune High corridor."

Veronica knew she must look a little red at the moment, but she couldn't for the life of her get herself to calm down. Logan's fists clenched white, and he stood slowly.

"This isn't a big deal Veronica."

Icy blue met hazel, the tension held one Mississippi… two Mississippi...

"Fine."

The tension broke suddenly and as soon as the storm clouds have hovered other them, they shifted and Logan fell back into his seat.

"Do you want to skip fifth period?" He asked gaily. Veronica shook her head with a small smile.

"No skipping senior year." She reprimanded. " Some of us actually have to rely on study scores to get into college."

Logan gasped sensationally.

"How quaint." Under long lashes he leered at her companionably. "Maybe my dirty money will grant me access to the ivy leagues too. You can room in my penthouse flat, although I'm afraid I will need the sex."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

This was how it was for them most of the time, falling happily between the lines of friendship and competition. They fought passionately and with no regard, happy to allow one to sharpen their wit on the other. They argued sometimes, but those moments of antagonism, when she managed to get under his skin or him under hers, passed easily.

Logan gazed at her under lowered lids, his head cocked in contemplation. He smiled at her when she met his eyes and rose liquidly on graceful limbs, offering his arm to her with an unfathomable crooked grin. She accepted with a smirk, and looped her arm around his amicably, their tiff forgotten.

"You're a good friend Veronica." Logan told her seriously.

Veronica blinked, his comment catching her by surprise.

"Thanks, you're a good friend too Logan."

He smiled gratefully and led her to class. Veronica smiled too, the sunlight warming her face as they talked of thoughtless things. For the first time all week she found herself in a sort of contentment. She tried not to chase it away by questioning it.

--

"Truth." Lilly drawled lazily.

Veronica lay with her eyes closed for a few moments, soaking in the hot Californian sun that cooked her skin, before replying.

"You and Dick Casablancas circa February 2003. Fact or Fiction?"

Lilly laughed, apparently scandalized. She sat up on one skinny arm and flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"Total fiction Veronica Mars. I'm shocked, don't you know me at all?"

Veronica shrugged, grinning.

"It's not like Dick isn't your type. As far as I know he still has his man parts."

Lilly giggled and slumped back onto her towel, flicking a wave of sand onto Veronica with one immaculately manicured hand.

"Oh as if. Your turn, truth or dare?"

Veronica sighed. Lilly's eyes sparkled wickedly, biting her lip with barely contained anticipation.

"Truth." She said reluctantly.

Veronica waited for the inevitable moment of mortification to hatch in Lilly's brain, but alas, she never would find out what Lilly planned to ask her because the taller girl looked past her shoulder and, mercifully distracted, frowned. Veronica half turned too, easily picking out the two figures, walking the winding, clumsy walk of two people entwined around each other, who had caught Lilly's attention.

"Truth." Lilly sighed solemnly. "I think he loves her."

Absently Lilly drew a heart into the sand. Veronica sighed, the slight hiccup of her heart was afraid that Lilly was right. A few feet away from them Logan whispered something into his giggling girlfriend's ear, Hannah grinned and planted a kiss against his cheek. They looked up from the world they had created around themselves and waved at the two girls who watched them.

"A day at the beach with my three favourite blondes." Logan remarked happily as he came close. Hannah's smile thinned slightly, and she seemed to tuck herself nervously behind her boyfriend's broad shoulders.

"What bliss."

Lilly preened and Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Oh Logan, this obsession you have with seeing me in a bathing suit is just embarrassing. I mean seriously lover, your girlfriend is right there."

Hannah turned a very unattractive shade of puce. Logan, used to Lilly's antics after a combined friendship and love affair of eleven years, seemed unfazed.

"Lilly." He tutted. "I'm afraid I've changed my ogling penchant to another beautiful and fine Neptune female."

"Oh?" Lilly said nastily. "Who? Veronica?"

Veronica spasmed with laughter, disguising her amusement badly as a coughing fit. Logan gave her a dark look.

"So." Veronica said, changing the subject and taking pity on the very red Hannah. "Are you guys surfing today?"

It was a slightly stupid question, the skin-tight wet suit that Logan had donned hugged his curved arms and toned chest beautifully.

"He's surfing." Hannah piped up. Lilly's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I was more inclined to forgo the cold wet ocean in favour of sitting on the shore, reading a Cosmo and watching my boyfriend walk around half naked."

There was a pregnant moment of silence, and then like the shattering of a glass window, Lilly laughed and broke it. Veronica resisted the urge to make a face, not because Hannah had said something wrong, quite the contrary, she was undeniably pleasant.

Maybe that was the problem.

"You can sit with us." Lilly ordered. Hannah's eyes widened into an expression that was very common in those who spoke to Lilly, a balance act between fear and excitement. Logan looked at Lilly nervously before turning to his girlfriend.

"You don't have to…"

"No!" Hannah said. "No, I want to."

She smiled up sweetly at her boyfriend.

"I want to get to know your friends."

Logan smiled vaguely at her, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

"Fine."  
Hannah plonked herself down on Lilly's other side, her blue eyes already happily locked on the smirking blonde. Veronica nodded at Logan.

"I'll take care of her."

"It's not Hannah that I'm worried about." Logan muttered, glancing suspiciously at Lilly.

"I'll take care of her too."

"Thanks Veronica." Logan smiled gratefully. He waved as he walked off, back toward his car and his surfboard. Veronica sighed, perhaps more loudly then she had intended, before picking up her copy of TIME magazine and slipping her sunglasses from her forehead down her nose.

She squeaked when her magazine was ripped, very rudely, from her hands.

"Veronica Mars." Lilly said reproachfully. "We have a new friend, so play nice."

Veronica groaned.

"Leave the girl alone Lils'"

Lilly batted her long, Maybelline lashes at Hannah, who giggled tentatively.

"She doesn't mind."

Veronica rolled her eyes. Lilly would flirt with a bowling ball if she wanted a strike.

"I was talking about me."

Lilly planted a sloppy, affectionate kiss onto Veronica's cheek.

"This is why I love her." Lilly told Hannah's wide doe eyes seriously. "We're kindred spirits, Veronica Mars and I."

Hannah turned to Veronica and she frowned. Her expression was oddly calculating, as if Hannah were studying Veronica for the first time. It looked strange on such an open face. Veronica smirked back, she was used to that spark of shock that people got in their eyes when the layers of her pretty young thing façade came peeling.

"So Hannah Griffith…" Lilly's pink lips twisted in the manic elation of a cat playing with its food. "Truth or Dare?"

Hannah glanced at Veronica appealingly.

"Truth." Veronica said with a slight smile. "Always go truth with Lilly. Last time I choose dare… Well let's just say it ended with me passed out in Casey Grants pool house covered with silly string, at 3pm in the _afternoon_."

"Oh…" Hannah said. "Truth then. If I come home covered in silly string again my dad's just going to ground me."

Veronica felt like groaning and hitting her head against something really hard. She was not going to start liking Hannah Griffith. That would be too cruel.

"Hmm…" Lilly could ask any number of uncomfortable questions, and Veronica leaned forward, waiting for a little piece of the puzzle which was LoganandHannah to fall into place.

"When did you two meet?"

"The Winter Carnival." Hannah answered easily. Veronica and Lilly exchanged a look of surprise.

"That long?" Veronica asked.

"You know I really thought he would have told you guys…" Hannah said breezily. Veronica and Lilly exchanged a dark look over her head. "But yeah, he wooed me over a game of Leap Frog."

"Have you done it?" Lilly put bluntly. She leaned forward, her breasts swelling in their flimsy holders, in a kind of perverse excitement. Hannah blushed.

"Um…" She lowered her eyes coyly. "We've done… other stuff."

Lilly leaned back, deflated. She seemed unimpressed by Hannah's declaration of 'other stuff'. Veronica licked the dried salt off her lips.

"I don't know…" Hannah continued, happily oblivious to Lilly and Veronica's reactions. "I've never felt like this before, he's so… It just feels so right, you know? I trust him."

Lilly didn't know, she had neither experienced any sense of rightness nor ever trusted Logan completely, but Veronica realised with a pang that she did know what Hannah meant. The real Logan, who was a rare beast indeed, was comfortable to be around, courteous, amusing and more so, Veronica trusted him implicitly.

"I think I might love him."

Veronica blanched and Lilly gasped animatedly.

"So _romantic_."

Hannah sighed, spurred on by Lilly's encouragement.

"It's just… I feel like I really know him, like when we're together I'm looking past his face into his soul. He's such a beautiful person under all that anger and sarcasm…"

'_Yes he is…"_ Veronica felt like saying petulantly. _"_I_ know that, I've been his friend since we were thirteen years old. I _know_ him. You couldn't possibly know him, you _child_."_

"Oh my god!" Lilly said. "This is perfect."

She sorted messily through her oversized beach bag, until she pulled out a glossy magazine with a triumphant 'huh!'

"Cosmopolitan Quiz!"

"Oh, um…" Hannah fumbled. "I don't…"

"Is It For Real? Sincere Soul Mate or Flippant Fling?" Lilly continued unabated. "Take this quiz and see how highly you and your ardent amour rate!"

"Pulitzer provoking alliteration." Veronica deadpanned.

"And they say the Cosmo women can't write." Lilly sniffed decadently. "Ok, question one:"

She looked at Hannah greedily, Lilly's blue, blue eyes wide with exhilaration.

"True or False: Talking to him brightens up your day."

Hannah bit her lip.

"True."

"You feel like you know everything there is to know about him."

Hannah sighed.

"False."

"You think about him kissing you, all the time."

"True."

The uncanny, indefinable feeling of Déjà vu pricked the back of Veronica's mind, trying to tell her something.

"You can picture your lives together in ten years."

Hannah opened her mouth, but was saved as Logan pulled himself in from the surf. She beamed at him, and waved. Yards down the beach Logan saw her, and with a little bemusement, waved back. Hannah leapt to her feet and began to bound towards her boyfriend.

"Well." Lilly sneered. "I can see why Logan's been hiding Bambi away from us."

"I think she's sweet." Veronica replied distantly.

"Exactly." Lilly said cuttingly, sliding back onto her haunches. "We don't do sweet Veronica, we eat sweet for breakfast."

Veronica's breathe caught, and her chest hurt suddenly. She liked to think a little of the old Veronica, happy, dreamy, pink as pie Veronica, was still left inside this new hardened, bitchy shell casing. Perhaps Lilly was right though; perhaps she had become too hard, too cynical, for naivety like Hannah's.

Perhaps she disliked Hannah so because she didn't want to watch another pretty blonde honey slip into the Neptune machine, raped of her innocent and good intentions by the corruption around her. She didn't want to see Hannah's heart broken when Logan, who was too dysfunctional and broken for happily ever after, messed up (and wasn't it inevitable that he would?").

Logan loped gracefully up to them on long, defined limbs. He flicked his wet, sandy hair out of his eyes and grinned.

"You weren't in long." Veronica commented quietly, peering through the blinding sunlight to talk to him.

"I got bored." Logan laughed. "Thought I would spend some time with my favourite girls. Hey, are Duncan and Meg coming?"

"Sure."

"Maybe we could all go out for dinner." He grinned and Veronica realised for the first time in along time, Logan was really happy. Hannah was making him happy. "I want everybody to get to know my girlfriend."

Veronica sighed and nodded. She would pretend as hard as she could, but Veronica knew that liking Hannah would not become a problem.

--

"She's… well, she's nice isn't she?"

"That's what I said." Veronica murmured into the phone. "-And Logan bit my head off."

"She's quite funny too, and she's… really sweet."

Veronica sighed and wedged the phone under her chin as she reached for the hidden box of Oreos.

"Lilly says that I eat sweet for breakfast. I think she might be right."

On the other side of the line Meg sighed too, her weariness audible to Veronica. Meg had had a trying dinner, sitting beside the sulking, glowering Duncan. Yet still Meg managed to be the dutiful best friend, and that was because she was…

"You're sweet Meg." Veronica reminded herself. "I like you."

"Maybe it's not the sweetness you object to." Meg suggested reasonably. "And for the record, I have edge."

That was true. Meg was sugar and spice and everything nice, but she was also one of Veronica's favourite partner's in crime and you didn't get that dubious success with out a few minor felonies under your belt. Still, Meg's words rang true and Veronica wondered what, of Hannah's many unique characteristics, made her so particularly dislikeable.

"Think hard Veronica." Meg said with a yawn. "You'll get it eventually."  
Before Veronica could ask what she meant, the phone clicked and she was left listening to the whine of the dial tone.

--

_His lips graze her earlobe, sending little shivers of anticipation down her spine. The sunlight streams in from unseen windows, making them glow in the bright afternoon, his body twisted around hers. Her shallow gasp breaks the rhythm of their heavy breathing, his lips suckle on the curve of her neck, when he pulls away his breathe is cool on the wetness that is left there._

"_We're going to be late." He mutters into her hair. _

"_Lilly will understand."_

"_Have you met Lilly?"_

"_Shh…" She awkwardly presses her finger against his mouth, giggling in that silly, light hearted, girly way he makes her giggle. "Don't talk about Lils' when we're in bed together."_

_He kisses her deeply, his tongue barging into the cavern of mouth with out permission or courtesy. Her hands tighten their hold on his shoulders, enjoying the feeling of the muscles rippling as they tense. _

"_That's a good plan." He says, pulling back when he runs out of breath. She looks up at him with wickedness gleaming wanton in her shining eyes. His hair gleams golden in the late afternoon sun and he smiles. _

"_I guess we can be a little late."_

_They laugh, gratuitously happy, stolen, undeserved; but cherished more by them, the sinners, then the angels of heaven could possible comprehend. His hand moves between her legs and pushes them open, his fingers moving slowly up the curve of her thigh._

"_I love you Veronica." He murmurs.  
"I love you too Logan." She replies._

And then she wakes up.

Veronica sat up with a start, breathing in heavy, laboured gasps; her body tender with the forgotten feeling of arousal, her mind buzzing with unpleasant clarity.

Like a circuit, or a machine that had been turned on, or jigsaw finally complete, it all fell into place, and the frisson of achievement made everything very apparent. Of course, of course, now it all made sense, how stupid of her not to have seen this before.

The grave feeling that had settled into her heart, her hatred of Hannah Griffith, Meg and Wallace's palpable insinuations, her sudden and intense possessiveness over Logan.

Damn it.

Oh hell.

Perhaps it had always been there, hidden under princess dreams and darker ambitions, hidden under lust and infatuation. They were the same, so like minded, so in tune with each other. Had she, from the first moment she had seen that lanky boy standing outside a soccer field, fallen in love? So deeply, so suddenly and so completely that it had just seemed… normal.

"Oh no." Veronica breathed, falling back into her bed. "Oh shit."

Her gaze fell on her favourite picture of the fractured and scattered fabulous four, Logan looked back out at her. He seemed to mock her, looking at her as if to say 'of course, wasn't it obvious'.

Oh god.

She was in love with Logan Echolls.


	2. Chapter 2

**.**

**AN: Well ok, my bad, this took forever considering It was for the most part written when I realised part one. Sorry, my final year is a horrible thing, full of homework and motivational seminars. **

**Anyway it occurred to me (headdesk) that Lilly was actually a year above the rest of the fab four, and that in this story she is still in her senior year. My fault, consider that an AU element, not a screw up. Thank you all for all the nice things you said about part one, and I hope you enjoy its conclusion.**

--

Veronica walked down John Enbom's 09'er street (a little tentatively, she was wearing high heels after all), trying not to roll her eyes as she guided her already inebriated best friend. Lilly had decided to start the party on a high, by taking three or four vodka shots. This induced tipsiness made Lilly very chatty, sadly for Veronica, on the very subject she hoped she could avoid tonight.

"I mean she's so out of his league it is not even a laughing matter Veronica." Lilly slurred emphatically. "It's not that I'm sad he's moved on, it's just that- why did he have to move on to _her_."

Privately Veronica agreed.

She had attempted to swindle herself out of this party with her sharpest and most persuasive cunning, but Lilly wouldn't budge. It wasn't like Veronica could actually tell her why she didn't want to go to John's, or more specifically why she so desperately did not want to see Logan. Lilly would never know about this newfound… infatuation, this dangerous ugly thing that had planted its barbs into her heart. Lilly would never realise how much power Veronica now had to disrupt their lives, to break the Fab Four apart utterly and permanently.

So she loved Logan Echolls? So what? She would not hurt him in an effort to indulge her selfish delusion, she would not take him away from the women (girl) he loved, even if she could. She would not hurt Duncan, Lilly, Hannah, Logan and most definitely herself, not for the off chance he felt the same way.

"I see the way he looks at her." Lilly sighed, leaning against Veronica's shoulder. "He used to look at me like that."

Veronica looked resolutely down the dark street; her eyes focused on the explosion of lights, which made her pupils contract and blinded her in the darkness.

"I wish someone would look at me like that again." Lilly said softly. Under a veneer of glitter and Rodeo Drive accessories, Lilly suddenly sounded very small.

"Me too Lils…" Veronica murmured. "Me too."

The house loomed above them, and the roar of teenagers drowned out their solemn. conversation. Lilly looked at the house contemplatively for a moment, her face lit up beautifully with the tacky pinks and greens of the party lights. She grinned, her moment of regret gone. She barely paused to wave at Veronica as she disappeared into the oblivion of strobe lit dancers, singing songs at the top their longs in a euphoric roar.

Veronica sighed, disappointed at being alone again at another 09'er party where she didn't really belong. In a moment of uncharacteristic spontaneity, Veronica dipped a red cup into the heavily spiked punch and took a sip. The burn of the alcohol felt, in equal doses, awful and wonderful as it slipped down her throat. Veronica winced as she swallowed, blinking tears of shock out of her eyes.

"Hey Veronica!" Casey Grant yelled over the din, bold with intoxication. Veronica waved back half heartedly.

"Aw, come on Veronica." Casey grinned, appearing at her side. "It's a party. Come dance with me."

Veronica cocked her head, plastering a sickly smile over her face.

"Dance? What is this 'dance' you speak of?"

Casey planted a hand on her hip.

"I'll show you."

Veronica looked at Casey seriously for a moment. He was a good-looking boy, rich (unfortunately, all too aware of it), a sense of humour, intelligent, even kind when he wanted to be. She could like him if she tried, she did like Casey. He was in fact one of the few 09'ers she did like sincerely. She could flirt with him, she would kiss him, she could fake infatuation and eventually she could sleep with him. She could do it, but she knew she could never make it real, make it _love_. Somehow with out her realising it, she had been screwed by kismet and her heart (betrayer) had pledged undying love to her _best friend_.

"Maybe later." She breathed, wiggling out of his hold.

Casey merely shrugged, he was a good guy he wasn't going to force anything, but if Veronica came back later in the night he would still probably be there.

A good guy.

But not Logan, and apparently that made all the difference.

Veronica sculled the rest of her cup and deftly refilled, ignoring the slight protest her stomach made against this invading force. Shrugging apologetically at Casey, Veronica edged away from the table, rejoining the crowd of people who filled the room. She looked around the room, hoping to run into Wallace or Lilly. Instead, over the heads of her happily dancing peers, Veronica's blue eyes met with the chocolate brown eyes of the very person she had been avoiding. Logan's eyebrows rose when he saw her, unsurprisingly, considering her attempts at avoiding him the past few days had been… less then subtle. She froze as he cut easily through the thick crowd, his minions parting as their king walked through. Too late Veronica regained control of her mental facilities; Logan was already feet away from her, making any kind of evasion unlikely.

He stopped, standing obstinately in front of her. His crafted forearms crossed defensively across his torso.

"So…" He asked. "Fun party, huh?"  
Veronica smiled ironically and mimed toasting him with her paper cup.

"I guess you're not just going to tell me why you've been avoiding me?"

"Nope." Veronica replied quickly. "Is Hannah here?"

Logan's eyes narrowed suspiciously and Veronica smiled back at him innocently.

"Yeah. Somewhere."

"Oh, I guess I'll see her later tonight."

"I'd hurry up." Logan said mildly, the sharpness of his expression contradictory with his tone. "She's only staying for another hour. Mr Griffin doesn't like Hannah being out too late…"

Logan's lips pursed as he added, as if an after thought. "With me."

"Shocker." Veronica sniped automatically, regretting her words almost automatically at Logan's fierce expression. "Sorry… That was mean."

Logan looked at her intently, and Veronica knew that's she was hurting him, even now, by distancing herself. The deepness of the expression of which Logan looked at her made Veronica heart burn with a strangely pleasant fire, and she had to resist discovering the softness of his lips, the curvatures of his torso because her throwing herself at him in this moment would be a very bad idea.

"Whatever Veronica Mars." He said finally, and she winced at the coldness in the way he spoke to her.

She stopped him as he turned to leave, her hand squeezing his forearm.

"Logan…" She bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

She dropped his arm quickly and Logan looked at her curiously.

"Its ok Veronica."

Somewhere he must have understood that she apologizing for something more then her doubt and her distrust. Perhaps he even understood that this was her forfeit, her surrender of him to the rival army. If he did, he did not acknowledge it and Logan allowed her to walk away, only his gaze burning into her back.

Veronica tipped her head back, and once again the cup was empty.

--

"My God Veronica, you're drunk."

Veronica tried to locate the source of the voice urging her to get up. She was drunk, so drunk. Through slitted eyes she glanced up and around, wincing as the world span. She felt carpet under her bare feet and remembered that she was in John Enbom's guest suite. Lying, oh so classily, on the floor. Manicured hands tugged at her arm.

"Erk…" She murmured sluggishly.

"How long has it been since you were this drunk Veronica?" A blonde blur asked with good humour.

A very, very (very) long time, Veronica mused silently, years even. Something must have happened, she deduced clumsily, and yet she could not remember what.

The music of the party still blared in the background, the slow track someone had slipped to the DJ, to pass a quick grope as a slow dance.

"_Some one to die for/ Some one to fall into when the world goes dark." _The stereo system crooned tinnily.

Superimposed over the songs for the persistent night-time lovers, Veronica distantly registered the sound of raised voices arguing somewhere deeper in the house. Her curiosity was not peaked; she focused instead on staying conscious. Her Good Samaritan took her hand and wrenched her onto her feet. Veronica groaned, hugging the wall as she resisted the urge to throw up onto her feet. She could remember waving goodbye to Lilly as she disappeared into the fray, turning away from Logan as he-

Oh.

Veronica moaned and swerved erratically, bumping into her helper. The alcohol in her stomach dulled the sharp, potent pain, but it could not extinguish the sting of heartbreak all together.

"Oh shit." She muttered to herself.

She almost fell, but helpful hands steadied her, murmuring sympathetically. They guided her along a few feet of wall, and onto the counter of the kitchenette that adorned Enbom's guest suite. Veronica leaned against it, slowly easing her bottom on top of it until she was steady enough to sit up unaided and accept a cup of water. She took a sip, relieving her parched throat and sat shakily for a few silent minutes.

"So… What's up?"

Veronica started.

"You would know." She told the voice sulkily. "You told me."

"Oh." Meg sighed wearily, leaning back against her forearms. "So I guess you had a moment of clarity."

"Brilliant." Veronica snapped, not particularly at Meg at all. "Just brilliant. I'm in love with my best friend. Of course this would happen, of course it would happen to _me_."

"Are you going to talk to him about it?" Meg asked.

Veronica shook her head emphatically, and looked appealing up at the ceiling.

"No."

"You should."  
Meg's cornflower blue eyes were deadly serious.

"I can't. He _loves_ her, Meg."

"You don't know that." Meg said, leaning forward and speaking in a harsh whisper as if telling a terrible secret. "He deserves to know Veronica."

Veronica frowned at her, biting back the drunken impulse to pull her hair, or kick her in the shins or something.

"What are you even doing here?" Veronica asked Meg in the same brittle whisper. "You have a date with Duncan tonight."

Meg huffed and leaned back, her bottom lip plumping in a pout.

"We finished and Duncan wanted to drop by the party for a while." She said, hiding her irritation badly.

Veronica raised an eyebrow sardonically. The arguing voices rose angrily, the bubbling of aggression about to boil over. Meg glanced over her shoulder in the direction that the voices came from, and sighed.

"You think you have the biggest Logan issues?" She said dryly. "Apparently you are wrong because Duncan, still, has failed to just build a bridge. At least you have a healthy understanding of _your_ issues."

Veronica shook her head quickly, regretting the movement almost immediately as the room spun and she almost lost her seating.

"It's complicated Meg."

Meg scowled at her and Veronica did a double take. She had never, ever seen saccharine Meg Manning scowl. Ever.

"Explain it to me Veronica." She said coolly. "Explain to me why my boyfriend has been able to focus on nothing for the last week except his best friend and his new girl friend. Explain to me why I had to cut my dinner short so Duncan could race here and play fisticuffs with Logan. Explain that to me Veronica Mars."

Veronica raised a hand to her forehead, wincing, and she felt Meg deflate. She looked up and tried to maintain eye contact with Meg's baby blues.

"A year ago Logan would have called Duncan five minutes after meeting Hannah, he would have called me; hell he would have even called Lilly. A year ago the four of us were unbroken, impenetrable. We laughed at other people because they didn't know what friendship was, they didn't know what it was to be friends with Logan Echolls or Duncan or Lilly Kane or Veronica Mars." Veronica inhaled. "I suppose that… although we have all, for better or worse, lost a lot this year, none of us expected to loose that. This Hannah thing… it just reminds us."

The expression of hurt on Meg's face made Veronica flinch. It was unfair to ask her to be sensitive while drunk, but Veronica suddenly felt very stupid as she re-evaluated her last statement.

"Meg I didn't mean…"

"Veronica…" Meg said softly. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just perhaps, the disillusionment of the fabulous four was meant to be… that it was even a good thing?"

Veronica bit her lip, and fell graceless to her feet.

"Meg…"

There was a roar from the other room and Meg rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Veronica..."

Veronica followed Meg clumsily down the hall as Meg walked quickly towards Duncan and Logan. It didn't occur to her that she had been avoiding Logan; the only thing that occurred to her was that she didn't want to be left alone, again. She tripped and slumped into Meg, the blonde caught her and sighed wearily, bracing Veronica against her side. Veronica buried her face into Meg's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Meg." She slurred softly. "I messed up tonight."

"Its ok to do that." Meg told her, propping her up. "You don't have to be superwoman all the time Veronica."

_But I do, _Veronica opened her mouth to point out_._ Logan and Duncan burst out through the doors of Enbom's guest room. Duncan was red with anger, his fists clenched painfully. His mouth twisted, transforming his face in resentment for a moment and his eyes sparkled with barely contained fury. Logan's face, usually so emotive, was blank. Only the curl of his lip into a sneer and his pallid complexion betrayed emotion.

"-Say that this doesn't have anything to do with her…" He spat at Duncan.

Duncan opened his mouth to reply, but as he turned to see the two girls, his face went blank. Logan turned to see when his friend was looking at and curiously his angry expression disappeared as well.

Veronica's watched Meg's eyes narrow slightly; perhaps she was imagining the slight tension around the other blonde's mouth.

"Duncan." Meg said. "I want to go home."

"Meg…" Duncan looked at his girlfriend irritably. "Not now."

"Fine." Meg replied icily. "I'll ask Cole to drop me home."

Duncan flinched, and for a moment he looked indecisively between his friend and his girlfriend. Veronica wondered if perhaps his eyes flickered to her for a moment.

"Sure Meg." He ground out finally. "Let's go."

'See you Veronica." Meg said, before shooting a dark look at Duncan and stalking away. Duncan followed with a sigh.

Veronica looked at Logan, who was looking back at her with strange curiosity. She made to step closer to him, but her limbs would not co-operate and she felt gravity lurch her forward. With a thump she landed less then gracefully against Logan's arm, he steadied her automatically, although he too wobbled a little.

"Are you drunk." He asked her surprised. "How very junior high of you."

"Shh..." Veronica slurred irritably. "So are you."

"I'm constantly drunk." Logan told her tartly, his movements just a bit exaggerated. "Haven't you heard?"

Veronica giggled and slumped against his arm, Logan squeezed her shoulder sociably.

"So?" Veronica asked curiously. "Why were you arguing with Duncan?"

Logan's mouth twisted suspiciously and he turned his face away from her. Veronica frowned as he detangled himself from her shoulder and took a few steps away.

"I can't tell you."

He said sullenly.

Veronica glanced around and, taking Logan by the hand, dragged him into the guest bedroom. She fell back onto the bed; the bed lurched as she felt Logan sit reluctantly beside her. It took a moment to regain her bearings, her less then graceful decline had befuzzled her already befuzzled head, when she sat up she realised that she was inches from Logan's too serious face.

"You used to tell me things."

"I can't tell you this…" He breathed.

Veronica scowled. Logan's head ducked.

"Please?"

Logan sighed. For a few long seconds he said nothing, staring blankly at the wall adjacent to him.

"Do you really want to know what Duncan and I were talking about?"

He said finally. Veronica nodded.

"Blondes."

She blinked.

"Blondes?"

Logan leapt up, his movements quick and angry.

"Yeah, Blondes. Blonde sisters, Blondes who are ignoring me, Blondes who I like and Blondes who I love." He punctuated his words with jerks of his hands. There was something in his eyes that informed Veronica that he was drunker then she had originally guessed. "I should never have added another blonde into my life. I have too many. Adding another blonde was a mistake."

He paused, his expression pained.

"Hannah was a mistake."

Veronica paused, unsure how to react.

"But…" Her voice cracked. "You love her."

Logan smiled sardonically.

"Really? How do you figure that?"

Veronica couldn't remember. Had it been something Meg had said? No. It was Lilly. Lilly was never wrong.

"L-Lilly."

"You need to stop listening to Lilly." Logan said spitefully. "I'm going to break her heart."

"Lilly?"

"No!" Logan sounded frustrated. "Hannah. She's going to figure it out sooner or later, and I'm going to break her heart. I can't love Hannah."

"Wha-Why?" Veronica was really confused. She was wa-_ay_ too drunk for this.

"Silly Veronica." Logan slurred, sitting back down beside her. "You can't love more then one person. Not the way I do."

Her heart plummeted.

"You're in love with some one else? Who?"

Logan seemed to be closing the gap between them, suddenly another flash of clarity hit her and Veronica realised what he was doing, he was leaning in to kiss her.

"I don't know Veronica." He purred. "Who could I possibly be in love with?"

Veronica had always hated that prom queen, Nicolas Sparks, chick flick fairytale were the pretty female protagonist kissed the well built, handsome love interest and fireworks exploded, fire coursed through her body and high above the sweet, blonde things head, birds sung in a chorus of ecstasy. Yet even her cynicism couldn't deny the _something_ that spread through her when Logan's lips took possession of hers, it was indescribable, incomparable and she knew that it was going to change everything. She pulled away reluctantly, looking into his dark eyes.

"Uh oh." She whispered.

"Yeah." Logan agreed shortly. "I know."

Their breathing quivered in rhythm, like two synched heartbeats. Logan kissed Veronica again, pressing her body against hers, her breasts pressed tight against his chest, so she felt hints of muscle through t-shirt. Veronica ignored the acidic taste of alcohol on Logan's breath, just as she knew he ignored it on hers, and allowed his hand to snake its way up her thigh. Slowly and deliberately she felt him lower her down onto Enbom's guest bed, one hand lying casually between the opening of her thighs and the other pushing up her dress so that it barely maintained decency. As his lips battled with her own, Veronica couldn't stop herself responding, not with the fervour that she did. Her legs fell open more as they attempted diminish any, tiny, square centimetre of space between them, and Logan large, soft hand rubbed the white skin of her inner thigh.

"God Veronica." He breathed, his voice husky with want.

Veronica, so desperate to be wanted by him in any capacity, pressed her crotch against his growing erection. Logan groaned. They were beyond morality now, beyond consequences, beyond the point of return; they were slaves now to the churning cocktail of despair, lust, frustration and loneliness.

"I love you." She sobbed quietly into his ear. Her fingers, which traced the regal slop of his nose, felt the wetness of Logan's own tears.

He groaned, responding as she dry humped him, rocking her self against the outline of his cock. His exploring digits pushed her flimsy underwear aside (that Lilly had brought her, the thought disappeared as quickly as it had come) and he entered two long fingers into her weeping labia. Veronica bucked against the intrusion, a helpless moan of arousal escaping her parted lips. As he worked her skilfully, his fingers teasing her sensitive bundle of nerves, another hand worked her zipper, carefully peeling her dress off her perspiring skin. She shrugged it over her shoulders, inconsiderate of her near nakedness.

"Fuck…" Logan swore nervously as he looked at her, and Veronica blushed. She pulled at his own t-shirt, pulling it over his head. Logan quickly discarded his pants and, Veronica's throat tightened, her breath becoming ragged, his boxers.

He fingered her with a renewed ferociousness, his face a mask of barely contained animal lust. Veronica pulled Logan's weight on top of her, sighing as his excess hand massaged her breast through her bra, thumbing the hardening peaked flesh of her nipple. She ground into his fingers, pressed her lips against his neck, and then arched her back as she came with a flush of intense pleasure. He smirked and bent his neck to suck on the curve between her shoulder and neck, breaking the blood vessels under her skin and no doubt giving her a hickey. Veronica raised an eyebrow and smirked back, the challenge ripe in both sets of eyes. Casually she let her hand stroke the length of Logan's erection, enjoying the cease of his breathing as her nibble fingers traced his contours. Keeping her eyes locked with his muddy brown ones, she palmed his shaft in long, deliberate motions, traced the shape of his bulbous tip, smearing a drop of pre cum with her thumb.

"V-Veronica…" He murmured. "That feels- Fuck!"

He bucked as she squeezed him experimentally.

His hand caught her by the back of her neck and dragged her lips upon hers forcefully, she groaned against them as he sucked hard on her flushed bottom lip.

If they had kissed with the tenderness of lovers, it would have broken Veronica's heart.

Instead she responded greedily to the angry frustration within Logan's kiss, revelling in the bruises of his fingers that would appear on her pale skin in the morning. Proof that he had been here, that they had been closer then they had ever been before. A line crossed, a thread broken.

The eye contact returned, and Logan raised one finger to Veronica's face. She had stopped trying to decipher his expressions, but the one he gave her now set a shiver down her spine.

"Veronica…"

She stopped him, her kiss angry. She felt the weight of his hesitation, and moved away from his lips, kissing away the salty residue of his tears.

"I want you." She whispered wanton into his ear.

"Do you love me?" He asked, his voice small.

Veronica looked at him; she clenched his face between her hands.

"I said I did, didn't I?"

"You did."

"Then…" He let her kiss him softly, pliable under her hands. "It must be true."

Logan shifted his body so his torso and face hovered inches from hers, and so his groin was placed firmly against her damp core. Veronica shivered as his fingers brushed tentatively at her hips, before allowing him to remove his final barrier.

"Are you-"

She wouldn't let him ask that question. She bucked her hips against his, his dick pressing against her outer lips, and Logan let out a heady groan. Forgetting his question, Logan positioned himself against her, and with one decisive thrust he entered her.

Veronica gasped at the intrusion of her, if not virgin, mostly unused passage, her nails dug into the soft skin of Logan's forearms. Gently Logan retracted his cock, before easing it back in. He kissed away the tears that had managed to escape. His tender movements traded her discomfort for pleasure, and soon Logan was heightening his momentum and Veronica was responding with equal fervour.

The alcohol on their tongues mixed with their desperate kisses, the bodies perspiring as they contorted on their sheets. Veronica's body almost hummed, the sharp pleasure of Logan's movements contrasting with the slight numbness, or perhaps giddiness, of intoxication. And yet deep within her self, like lava that bubbled and hissed under changing landscape, she still felt her love for him, her need for him, strengthened and undiminished.

The sounds of their combined grunts and groans hovered in the otherwise silent room, and Veronica stiffened with a hiss as she felt her climax approach.

"Come for me Veronica." Logan whispered into her ear.

He flipped her so that she rode him from on top. The change of position applied a very welcomed, but new, pressure to her arousal and as Logan ground her into him, she came loudly. Determined to introduce Logan to the same high, Veronica quickened their tempo and too fast she felt Logan stiffen, and his seed empty it self inside her.

They paused, both panting slightly. Veronica looked down, suddenly painfully unsure, and his brown eyes looked back at her with conviction she craved for herself. He slipped out of her, and moved her so that she lay beside him, tucked companionably under his arm.

His tender kiss, on the very tip of her nose (like a boyfriend would do, like a friend), broke her. Her tenacity bore very little resistance when Veronica Mars finally fell from her carefully constructed pedestal and cried. But she had Logan to hold her as she sobbed, Logan's stolen body to fall asleep against when finally her cries faded.

--

All she could comprehend as she woke was sunlight and pain. As far as she could tell the sunlight was actually provoking the stabbing in her head, so Veronica turned over and buried her face in the warm, soft body next to her.

Better.

Uh oh.

Despite the disapproval of her body Veronica sat up with a start, the events of the night before trickling slowly, like honey onto bread, back into her consciousness. There had been alcohol, too much alcohol, avoiding Logan, Meg, Duncan and Logan arguing in loud voices, Duncan leaving, her asking Logan what was wrong, Logan's lips, Logan's hands…

Opps.

Slowly Veronica looked at the sleeping boy beside her, her eyes dry now after having shed two or three years worth of tears. This entire time she had been waiting for somebody to crush Hannah's tiny bird bones and break her heart, somebody terrible, somebody corrupt… How ironic, in one foul swoop she was going to break Hannah Griffin more efficiently then Madison Sinclair or Lilly Kane could ever hope too. She was a bitch, she was dirt.

Slowly she moved her aching legs over the side of the bed, slipping onto bare feet and ignoring the telling feeling between her legs that informed her that something had been between them last night. Her head complained bitterly as she gathered her clothing, slipping into her party dress and pulling on her discarded underwear.

She moved to the door but with too perfect timing, Logan's voice stopped her.

"Where are you going?"

Veronica tried not to stare at Logan's revealed torso, or contemplate on the bittersweet nature of this situation.

"I'm not sure." She replied stiffly. "I'm sorry Logan…"

"No!" Realisation entered Logan's emotive features quickly. He leapt up, apparently not hindered by a hangover as Veronica was, the sheet slipped away from his body and Logan strode towards her in full, ahem, glory. "Do not fucking leave, Veronica."

Veronica stepped back slightly, her face drooping unhappily.

"Logan…"

"Veronica we _slept_ together."

"Yes." Veronica said thickly. "We did."

"You…" He swallowed. "We said we loved each other."

"I know…"

"I meant it." Logan said softly, the doubt in his voice caused a hairline fracture in her heart to widen painfully.

"I did too." Veronica replied softly. "But you have a girlfriend."

Logan paused and looked at her strangely.

"Hannah? This is because of Hannah?"

"It's not just because of Hannah…"

One of Logan's large hands landed on her shoulder, slowly caressing the curve of her neck. He peered down at her with tenderness that shook Veronica's resolve.

"Veronica, Hannah… She…"

"She makes you happy." Veronica whispered. Logan didn't know it yet, but that was more for herself then for him.

"I love _you_. I'll break up with Hannah, I'll go now."

"No!" Veronica tore her arm away with a feral cry. She knew that he could see the frustration, the anger, in her eyes, but to her distain she also knew he could see the pleading. "Don't make me into that person Logan. Can't you see this is _killing_ me, I'm meant to be _better_ then this.

"Better then me." Logan said dully.

Veronica bit her lip; she could not salve his wounds without indulging perilous emotions. Couldn't Logan (who knew her best of all) tell how much this was hurting her, destroying her, having to hurt him, to give him up.

"Do you think we could be happy?" She tried to be reasonable, but her voice broke. "With Lilly and Duncan and other nasty history breathing down our necks. How long would we last? Then that would be it for us… There's no coming back from that."

Logan's top lip curled in a sneer, his status quo defence mechanisms clunked into action, too fluid and practiced with use.

"Ok Veronica. I'll forget this ever happened. I'll forget that I ever loved you and I'll pretend I do love Hannah and I'll go back to my perfect life with my perfect girlfriend and all we'll be is the best-est buds, just like it used to be. We'll all live happily ever after and nothing will ever be complicated or tangled again. Is that what you want?"

Logan looked triumphant for a moment until Veronica looked up at him with hard eyes, his expression fell.

"That is what you want, isn't it?"

"I won't cross this line." Veronica told him distantly, tugging, suddenly self-conscious, on the neckline of her dress. "I won't be _that_ girl."

Logan went very pale, and Veronica sighed, waiting for his anger to explode. He needed this, and she wouldn't be able to let it happen again. She deserved it.

"I have news for you Veronica." Logan hissed, his tone almost cruel. "You are _that_ girl now."

Veronica flinched, she looked away from him, unable to block out his words but able to resist the hateful look in his eyes.

"And you know what, this perfect idea you have of Lilly and Duncan and you and I being the 'Fab Four'-" Veronica winced at the way he spat the old nickname. "It's not going to happen. You really think we were so happy Veronica?"

Veronica's mouth fell open an inch, she swallowed nervously.

"We were happy." She said with conviction.

Logan shook his head slowly and deliberately with a cool laugh.

"No we weren't." He told her with equal conviction, his voice low. "Lilly fucked around, my dad was still a arsehole and you… you didn't even know what happy was. I'm happy now, even when things are fucking up, because at least now we can be truly honest."

Brown eyes looked at her sadly.

"I think…" He picked his words carefully. "If you really thought about it, you could admit to yourself that you too are happier now. Pastel never really was your colour, Veronica Mars."

He was dangerously close to her, his tall body curved intimately around her small one, his lips positioned a few inches closer to her lips then appropriate. His kiss was searching, and Veronica returned it, forgetting for a moment her past promises.

"I really do love you." She said against his lips. He seemed to nod. 'But you're Hannah's…"

She pushed him away firmly, her palm flat on his chest. His eyes flashed but he stepped back all the same.

"And I'm not going to be who takes you away from her."

Veronica used all her strength to turn around, and just that bit more to walk out the door. She felt Logan's eyes on her back, felt, with out his words telling her, the challenge in them. She left now, knowing that she might never be able to come back to him.

--

Sleep had not come to her for three entire days and Veronica felt flimsy and unsubstantial against the vivid neons of the school.

Head in arms, she hid at the fringes of the courtyard, blonde hair casting a veil across her face. She hadn't spoken a word to Lilly since the party, had not caught a glimpse of Hannah Griffin, and except for a few awkward occasions in which she was totally ignored, had not seen Logan either.

Spotting Logan on the far side of the yard, she watched him stride purposefully across the courtyard from under half closed lids She ignored the irrational pang of betrayal she felt when he refused to look at her.

"Veronica Mars!"

Veronica winced at the shrill tone of Lilly's voice as Lilly ascended upon her, blonde hair swinging in time with the smooth sway of her hips. Lilly looked luminescent in the afternoon sun, above petty sleeplessness and heartbreak, Veronica felt her own haggard appearance thrown into harsh relief.

"God Veronica…" Lilly drawled as she parked herself onto a seat, uncapping a bottle of water and bringing it to her lips. "Hangovers don't last _this_ long."

Veronica shrugged. She did not feel like explaining her insomnia to Lilly, and it wasn't like she could tell her friend about Logan.

Suddenly Veronica's stomach felt tight, she had never kept a secret from her best friend before, especially not one of this implication and enormity.

"I'm fine." She supplied shortly. "Just a little tired."

"You look like crap." Lilly answered honestly, propping her legs up on the bench. "But I have something that will cheer you up."

She leaned forward, wickedness glinting in her eyes.

'I have a secret Veronica." She sang. "A good one."

Veronica raised an eyebrow; out of the corner of her eye she watched Logan laugh at Dick Casablancas, his head back and carefree.

"He told me I wasn't allowed to tell you for a while but A. Lilly is _allowed_ to do anything she damn well wants and B.-" Veronica wondered if she saw a spark of something dangerous and spiteful in Lilly's gaze. "As if I could ever keep a _secret_ from you."

Veronica was as much aware that that statement was a lie, as Lilly herself. Lilly kept secrets all the time, she loved them, thriving off the adrenaline of knowing what others did not.

It didn't stop Veronica shifting slightly with guilt.

"Who?" She asked quickly, covering up her flinch.

"Logan." Lilly continued blithely. "Duh. He broke up with his pep squad pus-"

"Excuse me?!"

Both Veronica and Lilly were surprised buy the strength of her own reaction, Lilly, for once at a loss for words, blinked at her in shock.

Veronica said nothing, absorbing Lilly's news, dealing with intense feelings of rage, and irrefutably, relief. If Lilly had slapped her, her astonishment would not have been more profound. Logan had broken up with Hannah. Hannah had been dumped by Logan. Logan, despite Veronica telling him otherwise, had broken up with his girlfriend Hannah. Veronica could barely conceive the full significance of this fact, that her sacrifice had been for nothing, that she had broken both her heart and Logan's and not one of them, not Logan or Hannah or herself, were going to be happy.

"Why?" She managed to ask, her voice breathy.

"You tell me."

Her head snapped to face Lilly, who looked back at her placidly, expression steely. She didn't look mad, disappointed perhaps or resigned, but not the wild fury Veronica expected from Lilly Kane.

"I'm not stupid Veronica." Lilly told her calmly. "Everybody's talking about how you disappeared at the end of the night…"

"I went home." Veronica said defensively, hearing the panic in her own voice.

"Meg said when she left, you had gone off to look after Logan."

"So." Her anger was harsh and unjustified, but she could stop it spewing from her mouth. "He's my friend."

"Veronica…" Lilly's full lips twisted into half smile. "I _see_ the way he looks at you."

Veronica opened her mouth, and then as suddenly as it had come her anger dissipated and she closed it again. She leant her face down into her hands, too tired to fight or to cry.

"I'm sorry." She said finally. "I'm really sorry Lils'"

Lilly's answer surprised her.

"Why?"

Veronica stared at her, wondering what had happened to Lilly Kane and who this mellow tempered impostor was.

"You realise I slept with Logan right? Your ex-boyfriend, Logan Echolls."

"Thanks Veronica." Lilly said tartly. "I've read Tropic of Cancer."

Lilly wiggled her blonde eyebrows and stuck her tongue out. Then she sobered.

"You know Vee, that 'Belongs To Lilly Kane' sign I stamped onto Logan's forehead isn't in permanent ink."

"But-" Veronica frowned. "I _betrayed_ you."

She hissed the word, finally releasing them from her system. To hear it made it true, cemented the wrongness of what she had done.

Lilly looked at her for a long moment, blue eyes calculating, then she shrugged.

"I forgive you."

Veronica gaped at her, not even sure how to reply to this girl-who-was-not-Lilly. From across the courtyard Veronica noticed Logan's head turn and his face crinkled into an inscrutable frown as his eyes fell upon them.

"What?"

"This once." Lilly bit her lip. "You and Logan… I think you're going to be really amazing and to be honest I've been expecting you and the obnoxious one to bump uglies for a while; but Veronica Mars if you ever, _ever_ keep a secret from me again…"

Veronica's mouth quirked.

"I won't." There was a moment of silence before Veronica added. "I doubt Duncan will be so forgiving."

Lilly snorted.

"He'll get over it."

Veronica shook her head in wry amusement. The pain of loss, of regret, was still prominent but she no longer carried the burden of keeping a secret from Lilly. She felt lighter, even under her sadness.

"I messed up." She sighed. "I freaked out."

Lilly waved her sentiment away with her hand. With a disdainful flick she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"So what?"

"I did something really horrible. _I'm_ horrible."

"Like I said Veronica…" Lilly told her sharply. "So what? So you're horrible. Are you any less horrible resisting the urge to sex Logan up? You made a mistake Veronica; you are allowed to do that once in a while. Life goes on."

"I said…" Veronica swallowed. "When I woke up next to Logan I said some unfair things. I don't know if he would be able to forgive me."

Lilly laughed, her head back.

"You forget that Logan dated _me_, anything you do now will be pale in comparison."

Veronica pursed her lips.

"I'm not Lilly Kane." She said softly. Lilly sniffed.

"So you won't fuck it up. Logan will forgive you."

The two girls straightened as Logan rose from his table and began to stride towards the school building in long angry steps. Lilly's eyebrow quirked.

"But not if you never muster up the courage to say you messed up."

Veronica looked at Lilly, then she looked at Logan's disappearing back, her back stiffened and her jaw tilted. She was Veronica Mars and no one, not even herself, was going to get in her way.

"You're right."

Lilly yawned and picked off a dead end.

"Always have been."

--

Although later she would realise the thought was on the wrong side of obscure, it occurred to Veronica as she tried to relocate Logan, that her father would deeply disapprove of what she was doing.

Not that Keith Mars didn't like Logan, but Logan was _wild. _The Neptune population, in many attempts to describe Logan Echolls to curious or gossiping friends, had thrown around many adjectives; wild, psychotic, arrogant, selfish, nihilistic… Just to describe a few.

Yet, as Veronica's eyes met Logan's solid form, propped up against his yellow X Terra she was reminded of the words she had always used to describe Logan to those who thought they knew better: vivid, dramatic, exhilarating, confusing.

Logan was every thing that was colourful and exciting about her life; he was the cigarettes Lilly had sneaked out of her mothers purse and shared with a nervous Veronica, he was the salt water as the four of them swam beside each other in the dark night, he was the secrets shared between best friends and the summer days soaked into all of their skins.

The epiphany struck her as the afternoon sun struck Logan, half silhouetting his body in a quite impressively dynamic way. The best days of their cosy foursome were over, they had all moved on to other and larger loves. Yet perhaps this left Veronica with an opportunity to discover something equally beautiful, equally life affirming, an equal truth on which to base her life.

She walked over to him slowly, making sure he had time to watch the space close between them. She stopped short, and ignoring the sudden wave of nervousness that had flushed her, she waved sheepishly.

"Hey."

"Hey." He replied quietly, there was the same fatigue and rawness in his sad brown eyes as in her blue ones. "Are you here to yell at me?"

Veronica frowned and shook her head. Impulsively she grabbed at one of Logan's large hands, entwining it with her small one.

"I'm sorry." She croaked, the words falling haphazardly out of her mouth like a foreign dialect. In her mouth they sounded wrong and suspicious, but she meant them and she knew she had to say them. "You were right."

More foreign words.

"I was wrong."

More. She really must love him.

"And I love you."

Those were easy, she already felt like she had whispered them a thousand times, they came from her heart. Logan looked at her for a moment with his steady, calculating gaze.

"Ok."

His eye contact never broke with hers and she felt the soft pressure of a warm arm snaking around her waist. He pulled her languidly towards him, a slow smirk pulling at his lips.

"And for the record, I knew you were going to come crawling back."

Veronica snorted and opened her mouth to retort; unfortunately Logan chose that moment to cover her mouth with his. He pulled her taut against his chest and Veronica forgot how to speak, she forgot that they were in the very public car park; she forgot that the day existed beyond the reassuring warmth of his body and the gentle pressure of Logan's lips against hers.

He pulled away reluctantly.

"I love you." He stroked her nose tenderly. "Always have, always will."

Veronica smiled radiantly and sat down next to him on the bonnet of his beloved yellow beast. She leaned against his arm, revelling in its solidness in comparison to her smallness.

"You know…" She said thoughtfully. "That was our first kiss."

Logan chortled.

"Honeybunch, we did a lot more then just kiss at John Enbom's party."

Veronica bumped his shoulder.

"We were drunk. Doesn't count."

Logan nibbled his bottom lip in contemplation.

"Do those years of Spin The Bottle and Truth and Dare count?"

"No."

There was a hunger in Logan's expression that Veronica remembered longing for with Duncan, apart from the soft, sentimentality of infatuation, something like lust, like possession. He lowered his face towards hers.

"It was a good kiss wasn't it?"

Veronica swallowed at the velvety desire in his muttered croon.

"Very good."

"I wonder if we'll continue to improve?"

They, apparently, would. Their next kiss was heated, the frustration of the last few days poured into it. They clutched at each other, cementing their bond and knowing that it would always remain, in some way, some form. Veronica leaned her forehead against Logan's.

"You broke up with Hannah, after I told you not to."

Logan's lips pursed.

"Are you kidding me Mars?"

Veronica shook her head.

"I'm not complaining, trust me. You were right, I was wrong, oh hail the mighty Logan Echolls, all knowing, but-"

She licked her lips.

"You liked her?"

"Yeah." Logan's voice was sad.

"You were happy with her?"

"Yes, I was."

"Why did you break up with her then?" Logan's expression hovered between anger and unwilling amusement. "-and don't say you knew I would come crawling back because I know you didn't."

Logan looked away from her, muscles bunching between his eyebrows.

"Hannah deserves better then a guy who feels some obligation to love her." He turned back and kissed Veronica lightly on the forehead. "It would have been sick to pretend. Sometimes even a kind lie is cruel."

"I don't know if Hannah would agree."

"If it makes you feel better, I doubt she loved me either."

Veronica tried to remember the exact emotion in Hannah's eyes when she had announced her love for Logan. Rationally she knew that Hannah probably hadn't really loved Logan; Logan was easy to be infatuated with but really, not so easy to love. That was poor comfort to Veronica though, as she realised that even if Hannah hadn't really loved Logan, she had definitely believed she did.

Logan obviously believed that their conversation had reached a point of tedium, and in an obvious attempt to halt Veronica's train of thought; he began quite determinedly to kiss her again. Veronica considered breaking away and making Logan concentrate, but the sensation of his lips and grasping palms were too pleasant and Veronica felt herself, for the first time all day, relax.

The bell chimed rudely.

"So I think we have two choices." Logan said seriously, although his eyes shone impishly. "One: We go to class and act as if everything is normal. I don't actually believe that will work, because Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls just made out in a public place and I can practically hear the whirring of a hundred lower classmen PDA's."

"What's our second option. Oh wise one."

Logan cocked his head thoughtfully. "It's hot when you call me that." Veronica pinched his bicep irritably.

"Oh-ouch!" Logan grinned at her. "Second option, tiny, blonde one, you will not enjoy but I think is the better alternative."

"What?"

"I shall walk you down the hallway, through the masses of our peers, like my girlfriend, hand in hand."

Veronica thought about it for a moment, and although the concept was humiliating, lacking in subtly and just a little bit too John Hughes for her liking she extended her hand and allowed it to be taken by her boyfriends.

--

Two o'clock found Logan Echolls walking down the hall of Neptune High, hand in hand with his new senior girlfriend for the first time, under the scrutinizing gazes of their peers. Both Veronica Mars and Logan Echolls seemed oblivious to the stares and sniggers of the Neptune teen public. They strode beside each other, their arms entwined, speaking with easy familiarity and humour. They paused outside Veronica's Journalism class and Logan bent down to lightly place his lips upon hers.

If they walked the walk of controversy once they'd walked it a million times. They may as well do it together.

--

_Six Months Later._

After Graduation they all silently descended upon the beach, diplomas and gowns still in hand. The crash of waves and call of birds provided the only soundtrack to the last moments of the Fab Four.

"Wow." Duncan exclaimed, sinking onto the white sand. "I can't believe high school is over. Does that make us grown ups now?"

"Not me." Lilly said sleepily, sliding down beside him and resting her head against her brother's shoulder. "I'm never growing up."

She _was_ going to Vassar University though, and Duncan to Yale, Logan was heading to DeVry on the merit of his surprisingly good SAT scores and (yes) his father's dime, and Veronica, she was going to Stanford.

Just like she had always wanted, right?

They sat with out speaking, leaning against each other. They hadn't done this for a while, and they might not do this again, but it was nice to be reminded that whatever came between them, friendship still remained and that the integrity of moments like this would live forever.

Veronica had been right, Duncan had not taken Logan and her relationship particularly well. A precious month had been waisted in a 'cold war' and another month fixing what had been broken. Veronica didn't flatter herself pretending it was because of residue feelings, but because Duncan had held onto them with perhaps an even more binding strength then Veronica herself. He was the best friend, the brother, the boy friend and he felt the ripples of change more potently then any other member of their foursome, knowing that in some ways it had been he who had thrown the pebble which changed them.

"Haven't you even considered the consequence to what you're doing?" He had screamed at them both.

"Of course." Veronica had answer reasonably.

'Oh have you?" He sneered back. "How about me? What happens if you two break up? What, I have to choose between my two best friends? How about Lilly?"

"Duh." Lilly had replied, not even lifting her eyes from her copy of Cosmopolitan. "I choose Veronica."

Eventually however, life had returned to a lull. Duncan, and Neptune, acclimatized to the now irrefutable fact of Veronica and Logan. Veronica had dealt with her feelings of guilt and had learnt to lower her walls of defence to let Logan in. Logan had curbed his erratica, or at least had restrained it enough so that he no longer had a weekly date with the Neptune County Sheriff's department and his girlfriend's daddy. Lilly had continued prancing through an endless conga line of boys and fabulousness.

Life was, fleetingly but also enduringly, good.

They watched the blue water churn and regurgitate on the shores, absolute peace flooding them all. They still had the summer for laughter and parties, and undying friendship, one last hurrah.

"Well…" Veronica announced suddenly, clutching at Logan's hand and pulling him up with her. "Let's go to the after party. Everyone will be waiting for the fabulous four to make an appearance."

Lilly giggled.

"Meg is waiting for me…" Duncan admitted, pulling himself up too before offering his hand to his sprawling sister.

Their laughter broke the hot summer air as they ran back, running and jumping and calling out dares. Behind them the water winked and sparkled, a tantalizing proposition in the baking summer, but in front of them an equally tantalizing proposition arose.

Their futures spreading out in front of them, so real they could almost reach out and pull them to their chests. Long, convoluted, full of heartbreak and triumph, the possibility of who they could be and the life they could live.

And the promise of return, lying snug in their hearts. Lilly, Duncan, Veronica and Logan. _Lovers, fighters and best friends._


End file.
